What Cosmo Says about My Type

It turns out I accidentally turned to a page on "Guy" types which they are actually people types. But it was from a male psychologist and generalisations which I found really interesting.

Ok so Hairy Potter is a Web Designer, a computer programmer of a sort and also a professional illustrator.

So that puts him in the categories of a "Thinker" and an "Ideas Man".

David Haynes a Senior Lecturer at the University of South Australia, says, these types generally attract:

"Thinker" - emotional and communicative women who seek stability and security.

"Ideas Man" - Organised girls who dot their i's and cross their t's.

This is the interesting part about the "Ideas Man" frustrations arise when the initial attraction wears off and the girlfriend begins to feel more like a personal assistant than a partner.

Now that is actually quite true to the situation I experienced with Hairy Potter.

I did the "work" I felt and he didn't reciprocate the same feelings, but confusion and emotional problems on both sides caused the break.

Basically he isn't ready for a person like me and I can't be bothered waiting around until he is "ready"

Of course I may always have feelings for him. As even now that I feel like I am "Over him" I still have that wish that he'd call.

That because in my head, he was "the ONE" the type of guy I really want to be with. So as much as the jerk DE is a "Dreamer" and I am totally a "Dreamer" Girl, the psych said "Dreamer"s can work together.

But mostly, I don't like stereotypes and I fight if anyone tries to put me in a box and say your this or you're that, because I don't like labels of any type at all.

I read the article and I know I flow across the "Thinker" "Doer" "Ideas Person" "Dreamer" stereotypes.

The common career choices across all four are careers that I've always thought about doing. So I don't fit into any one of them straight up, though I tend to be a "Dreamer" mostly as I've always wanted to be an author, ever since I could remember...

So there is the conundrum. What to do with "Feelings" at this stage, I have to leave them at the door and concentrate on myself and if I still "Feel" this way once I'm done with the legal proceedings this year, then and only after I Pray could I proceed.

By then, who knows, I am getting over the "I hate you Hairy Potter" feeling, I'd rather feel nothing, but I have hope and that is kinda sad right now, since the way he has treated me is absolute shit. Fucking coward is what he really is.

Though sadly, coz I can empathise with his situation, it draws me back in to a degree, it'll be something I might write about and learn to forget and look after myself.

That is the best course for me, to look after me, I don't have to care for anyone that doesn't care for me.

I don't need everyone to love me anymore. I used to think: "But I want everyone to like me" but in my head, I actually thought: "But everyone does like me!" Bullshit, they wanted to be like me, they hated me and how much my Boss loved me, and that was coz my boss and I were very similar, so she wasn't fooled by their lies and bullshit!!!! Yay for me, but I'm still out here...

Ok, so I am going to move on from these thoughts and pause. A "Lily and Marshal" way of dealing with their problems.

I like thinking that way. In their relationship, they pause the argument and carry on with life and when they feel the need to talk again, both agree to "Unpause" and go at it again.

So with me, the huge things I can't deal with or think too much about, YES, I am mostly a "Thinker" too, :( :( :(

I am learning to "Pause" those problems and pick them up at a later date. Which is so hard to do when I am so stressed out that I can't always get my focus off of those problems, coz there are so many.

However....yay!!! I feel like I can put HP in a box and leave him there. Coz I don't need his help or emotional support or stability or security, or love or what I really wanted, I don't need to be held by him when I cry, coz I needed to learn mostly that God can do that in such a better way, that I am trully lifted, trully healed.

*sigh* life is so hard at the moment and things aren't even moving.

I'll be very happy by 6 months, by December. By sometime soon. I wish it was all over and I could move on with my life, I am moving on in other areas though.

I've learnt that I don't have to listen to Mum's banter and if she gets offended by me saying:

"I'm not in the mood to talk"

ie, I am at the computer and it has always been this way, when I am at the computer, it is my "CAVE" and I want to be left alone!!!

"Don't talk to me!!! Don't ask me questions!!! Don't expect me to have a conversation1!!! Worst of all DON'T ASK ME WHAT I AM DOING!!!! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS COZ MOSTLY RIGHT NOW I AM WRITING IN MY BLOG ABOUT YOU!!!!"

No, I don't feel better saying that, it lifts the lid off of the pain and memories. I have a new counsellor and the others will probably be left behind, coz they either want money or they want me to go a far distant late at night and I won't do it anymore.

Coz I am looking after me. So deal with it annoying people!