Hi There
I am scared, I've started a few legal processes where I feel completely alone in. Church has said they will help me out, which is really good, however, getting a letter from a solicitor is actually very scary.
It makes it real and it makes it come closer. This is where I want time to freeze and not proceed forth.
The process is approximately about 4 weeks away, but now that last week is over. Well I think it is, time seems so irrelevant these days. I go to the gym, I wake up or I don't wake up coz I don't sleep.
I am getting in touch with the real world now and again. But that is not very often.
Mostly I am stuck in my own pain and all I do is feel worse.
Mum keeps throwing stuff at me and jarring my back.
The bitch says: "Rubbish" and keeps throwing shit at me.
I told her next time she throws something at me, I am not going to catch it. So it if hurts. I'm going to cry or go off at her.
I won't know until a situation arises...
She's a stupid bitch really, she won't listen to me in the simple things and something inside of me wants me to say that I hate her.
I think I need to move out as quickly as I can, yet this house, in this house I feel safe from the "watchers"
I must sound like a paranoid mentally ill freak and mostly I am and I do feel insane.
Coz I don't feel like myself and my thoughts aren't normal and interrupted by shit.
I'm waiting for normalcy to return.
I hope it does happen one day soon...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I am Scared
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I can understand why the legal stuff would make you feel nervous. It's all stuff you're not used to. I hope it goes okay, though. Keep strong and when you feel scared just remember why you are doing it and that bullying should be stamped out in the workplace. And at home! Your Mum shouldn't be throwing things at you regardless of whether it is jarring your back or not. You really don't have to put up with that.
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