How is this for Interesting?

Before I delete this email from another source, I wanted to post it for posterity...

My conclusion - he is a bit of an idiot, I know he's involved with someone and I had to find out and for my own sake, "apologise" and I needn't be peed off, but it looks like he wouldn't / couldn't even be bothered with me.

Why am I pissed? I suppose I've been completely fumped and am not welcome in his life. I think it is the best course really. But it doesn't make me feel any better...



Zen
Is this D as in went to CH with GC, NJ?


DE
December 1 at 12:00pm

Sure is! Is this Zen?


Zen
December 10 at 10:58pm

Hi D
Yep, that's my old name, I became "Zen" in C actually. Remember GC? He started calling me Zen back in 1994. I had so many crushes on all the guys in C. I do wish that you had been older than you were, coz honestly, you were the best choice of all of them. I am writing this email with the purpose of an apology.

I really want to ask your forgiveness in saying that awful phrase: "you're the weakest link"It was such a hurtful thing to say and totally inappropriate for that time. We were both hurting so much and you were such a tower of strength for me and I let you down.

I really wished back then that you hadn't said that all women/girls are apples. I wanted to be an apple that you picked up and I didn't understand for some time that you meant that with your level of pain, I was just too much for you to handle and you could not see that I was there waiting to be chosen by you.

You offered friendship to me back then and I kinda spat in your face. If you haven't blocked me already, I would like to accept your friendship with no strings attached. No expectations, nothing. It is your choice if you would like to be a friend of mine and me of yours.

I would hope that with our history, we could, well I don't know be friends who strengthen each other.

I look at your photo and I worry about you. I thought with the self respect that you had for yourself when you were young that you would look so different from you do now. I don't mean you look ugly or anything, just that you look sad in some way I can't describe. [I still think he looks weary or tired out or something, but I no longer care actually, am I mean?]

So if you ever want to meet up for coffee or after church, I'll be going back to RC sometime soon. I don't have my licence or a car, so I'd have to be able to catch a train home. I'll put my mobile phone on [source], so it is up to you if you send me an sms or something.


Take care

Zen



DE
Today at 10:36am

Hey Zen!

It appears you've misread my facebook or have misread our conversations... I'm very happy and love my life. My convictions are still very strong and it is my hope that my life will always be unswervingly devoted towards all that is of Christ!

Life was hard there for a time and I was merely trying to share those difficulties out of compassion for where you were at. I appreciated our chats and always valued the nature of the friendship that we had. I believe that my years in C were some of my best. The friendships I had and the things we used to do, bring nothing but really warm feelings.

Since when we last spoke I've moved through some of the hard things going on in my life and feel like a huge chapter and adventure has taken place. I'm at the point now where life just keeps to getting better.

The abundant blessing God has bestown on me continues to spur me on in my life and commitment to Him. God is so good!I've been living in EF now for four years. I've bought and renovated a small villa there which continues to be an enclave for hospitality and ministry. I've got two awesome flat mates who continue to bring diversity to our home (which is also a place where we continue to etch a path forward as we learn from one and other).

I've also finished my Bible College degree and are currently training in cross cultural ministry. I attend EFBC where I am the young adults pastoral team leader and love my role and my work there.

I'm still teaching at CC and currently the Transition Manager for Middle School. This leadership role has been hard but incredibly constructive in building character and revealing more to me about myself and the creator who I serve.

As you would have noticed in my past 'profile pic' I've got a gorgeous friend and confident in a girl called L. She is passionately devoted to service and ministry and has been a blessing to me and my life as well. God is so good!

Thanks for your message. May the Lord continue to bless you as you seek him through all that you do. I am certain that he can make our path straight as we seek to live for him.

D



Zen
Today at 11:00pm

Wow D

Some pretty inspiring stuff there. I am so glad you are in a much better place.

All the best with L.


Zen