Shhh Its Top Secret!!!

Oh dear. Geez I had myself in a head spin.

I've might be maybe decided to oh, am very tired right now.

I've had quite an active day.

But *snaps* to me, I'm going back to work on a gradual basis.

My boss and the stand in doctor are going to be discussing my progress, I am so glad I chose to go to him, he might not say much, but at least he is doing the best by me.

As Mum's doctor he will be good for her I think.

*sigh* I'm putting off boys for this year. I've got A who I think I like the best. Then there's C who is an IT Geek and I am encouraging him to get a job at work - maybe a bad idea? He likes me and he is chinese and very very oh well very cute and all that stuff, but he's a bit too confident, I don't know. Its all very weird.

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT??? THEY WANT TO MARRY THEIR BEST FRIEND YOU IDIOTS!!! WHAT DO MEN WANT? Well I'll have to find out...

Then there is sweet pretty boy J. I can't help but shake my head and smile at him. He has such dreamy eyes!!! Very pretty, he must've got them from his Mum or something. I confess too much to the professionals in my life, as I've got a teeeny tiny crush on the male, oh actually their are two male physiotherapists - Mike who will be M from now on and Chris C1 (yes again*sigh*) who once I leave the physio in the city, I'll maybe possibly pass him a note once I've forgiven him for being too strong, great hands and beautiful face!!! Another pretty boy - am I becoming shallow or do I just want to surround myself with beautiful "people" hee hee :)

Well I've made a half pretend "vow" to myself and I can't help but laugh out loud at it, I'm swearing off of "boys" but accepting friendships of any kind. Well of course there are limits. I told my male mentor that everything else is empty to me and that God and me are doing fine.

It's God who is really shaking me about getting my head straight, coz I really can't and won't do life without Him anymore.

I've somewhat decided to do marriage counselling as my thesis for my doctorate for my psychologist doctorate.

I really like the sound of me being a doctor and as Clarence has said to me, about the whole thing of always wanting to do something. Of wanting to do something all my life, well she was talking generally.

I finally figured it out, I've always wanted to be an author, I've always wanted to be an artist, a singer, an amazing christian person, a teacher librarian, and then when it came to Year 11, I wanted to do psychology, so I'll see if I can get in.

Just as Josie Bear wants to sing, that sweet little angel ;) when I asked her who taught her? She said she did, so cute!! Then later, she said she wasn't a good girl. So S and Clarence won't have to much work cut out for them, she'll be a great girl, as she already is!!!!

I am a future marriage counsellor, because marriages are what fall apart so much in society. It's not right that people marry for any other reason than true love. The real deal and if I can spend the rest of my life or part of it at least reminding people - derrrr!! Why did you marry that idiot in the first place if you didn't really love him/her?

That will really shock them!! They'll look at each other (the whole point der!) and think what is this stupid bitch saying? And I'll smile on the inside and think to myself : "Yes, hmmm my work is done here, next!!!!"

I'd like to be a court appointed psychologist and deal with the very desperate awful cases.

But then I'd also like to help those-that-choose-to-seek-help, marriages work and that means I'll be able to help the children involved and also help to rebuild that family structure that is lost.

That's where society really fails children and everyone - "Mum and Dad never really loved each other!!!"

So I'm already building my thesis, but I think I am getting a bit ahead of myself. I may not get into UWA, I hope that I can, coz I want the best education, no secondhand Curtin -ick cheap arse bastards!!! or anything else will do...

Yeah, I'm not settling for second best. Ever! That means if "he" wants me, he'll have to work hard for it - kinda feel sorry for him, that is something I learned from Clarence, to which I always used to say, Clarence!! Why? Don't pity the fool!!! No, that is not meaning any man is a fool, I belive men and women are equally idiots!!! I can say that with a big smile on my face.

TTFN

Happy Zen and away!!!!! *no cape, but a really cool superhero suit!!* [note to self will learn to draw this year, paint, maybe act or maybe I'll just act the fool :) mwhuuhhhhhhaaaahhaaa!!]

PPS Mum thinks Caspian is a possibility, the guy who helped make me a geek!! I love the rpg thingo and I love sci-fi I'm in love with Dr Who!! That is why I found the last series so hard to watch and when Mum had watched it before me and kept hinting at it, I was so disappointed, so I have to forget what happened and then watch it again.

Well with Cas, I can't say he can hold his breath, as I think he is a bit of a girl, but he is a sensitive guy and he's been there for a while, so he gets credit for that, but then he's taken so long in growing up, its like watching a baby grow up so that is a bit weird... maybe he'll be a great brother model?

Well I'd better get to bed, might have to take some sleep ezy a natural sedative that Nature's own take, very good. I think I've woken up a bit. Since getting all of this out.

Kiss kiss!!!